So...you don't really need this class

Of all the thingsthat irritate me about today, the credit situation is by far the most frustrating. The fact the my screw-up with work was my fault and easily remedied makes it easy to get past, but I find myself rather insulted that, once again, the system at FAMU doesn't want to let me do more than what they think I should do.

I am trying to double major in theatre and philosophy. Because I didn't realize it was feasible until this summer, I'm finding it necessary now to cram in all of the classes I need for my philosophy credits. I don't mind taking a bunch of classes in philosophy and religion. On the contrary, I' rather excited about it. The problem with it, and the thing that kept me from taking philosophy classes for two semesters, is that they contribute to the cap in my alloted amount of credit hours. The established maximum a student can take in a semester is 18 credit hours. That's six over the 12 hour minimum required to be considered a full-time student, and not a problem for most of us. As a scholarship recipient, I have my classes covered up to those 18 hours, after which I'm on my own. Additionally, there is a surcharge in place for anyone who graduates with more than 120% of the credit hours needed to graduate, which I consider to be a punitive education tax. I doubt I'll go that far, but the 18 hours cap has presented a problem to me more than once.

I currently have 17 credit hours, a consequence of my not getting my language classes out of the way earlier and deciding belatedly to ad philosophy to my piece of paper. I can ponder the wisdom of that decision later. My schedule is pretty packed, but what isn't there right now, is a vocal class. I've been enrolled in voice lessons every semester since coming to FAMU as it's my only way to maintain some kind of consistent vocal trainig level in light of my schedule. I can never join a choir because it conflicts with my shows and my jobs and I had previously considered music my minor, of which I would need 18 credits by graduation to count. Unfortunately, my voice class counts as two credits, which would put me over the 18-credit limit. I was all set to drop my French class and lab, which would take me down four credits, but I actually feel like I'm in good classes this year, and I don't have any guarantee that the situation will be as god next semester. I settled on dropping my theatre lab instead.

Theatre lab is both useful and benign. I consider it important for any theatre practitioner to have a baic understanding of what goes on behind the scenes, and it's especially useful in a B.A. program where students tend to have varying focuses. However, after my semester of electrics, I didn't know how to bench focus a light. After a semester of set and props, I didn't really know how to build anything (though I did learn how to handle that power tool whose name I've forgotten). After a semester of management, I wasn't any more capable of putting on a production. This is probably part of the reason the class only counts for one credit msot of the time. However, my suspicion is that the other reason they make the class only count for one credit is to ensure that they have a labor source available to work backstage for their shows. For that reason, I've gotten past the point where I take lab seriously. For that reason, I consider lab the most sensible class to drop.

I have no problem missing a term of lab. In truth, no one would probably miss me if I wasn't there. But to graduate, I need to have eight credit hours. A friend of mine suggested I simply take the class for two credits. I knew it sounded too easy, but I went ahead and inquired about it. The answer was hardly satisfactory. At first, my professor seemed genuinely bent on finding a way that I can get two credit for the class. Then, when she understood why I'm taking so many credit hours, her sincerity turned to scepticism. She concluded that I "don't really need that class," that I was "just asking for something extra" because I wanted to. Her final judgement was that, while I can still try to get an override to take the class and end up over the 18-hour credit limit, I would not be able to just swap out one class for another and make up the difference later. She explained that, because I don't really need the class to graduate, because I'm not required to take it, there would be no provision for me.

Her conclusion essentially rested on the idea that FAMU has lain out for me exactly what I need to know in order to recieve a degree that deems my time at this school, and, indirectly, my person as a product of my time at the school, valuable. No credence is given to the idea that I might want to retain a minor in addition to my two majors, nor does anyone consider that the information conveyed in the classes set for me may not be enough. I'm not just here to get a piece of paper. I'm also here to acquire a strong skill set that will make me employable, and singing is a major part of that. Of the eight productions I've been in since being enrolled at FAM, seven have been musicals. Lessons give me a chance to build my repertoire, get feedback on my choices, and perform for an audience. I lose that when I'm pushed out over the number of credit hours. My professor intoned that I don't "need" the class, implying that the class does not hold any particular value for me. In truth, nothing could be farther from the truth.

This isn't the first time I've taken a class outside of my base curriculum that's been questioned. My advisor wondered at my decision to take Mock Trial during my sophomore year, back when I still had aspirations of going to law school and wasn't enrolled in any pre-law or poli-sci classes. I often get raised eyebrows when I introduce myself in a philosophy class and mention theatre as my major. There seems to be this idea among us that no one should go beyond what's been handed to him, that students shouldn't take initiative, that our choices can't be trusted. Who is she to tell me what I need? Why isn't my ambition to do more than just what's required of me being stonewalled instead of being supported? Not only is it frustrating, it's insulting. I have a degree of loyalty to FAMU because, if I'm a student here, there are bound to be other students like me who are not just the things that people know no better spew in newsrooms and on webpages. But I'll be glad when I'm done having my efforts undermined.

Second Day...and the failure begins

To begin on a postive note, I will say that my first day went off pretty smoothly. I got up around the time that I planned to and got some exercise in, I made it through my classes without a hitch, and I had a good rehearsal followed by a nice night in my room which I spent preparing for bed. My room could've used a little straightening, but I figured it was nothing a quick trip home after morning classes couldn't fix. I am very amused by my critical inquiry professor and actually kind of looking forward to improving in French. I considered myself off to a rather good start. Then the day changed.

While I managed to shower before bed and have my bag ready to take out, I wasn't very meticulous in picking out my clothes, so I ended up on campus enduring Isaac's sweat in an annoyingly warm top that I had mistaken for billowy and regretting that I had opted to bring my hoodie in anticipation of cold classrooms. It turns out that my semester will involve a fair bit of walking as my schedule is spread out among four buildings, and it's quite awkward to have to navigate strange territory while keeping up with a hoodie you'd like to chuck and an umbrella that you're sure you'll be needing any minute. I have yet to find use for my umbrella today. I ended up being almost twenty minutes late to my third class because I had gone to the wrong classroom and I could neither log on to the system nor call a friend to direct me. After a rather tedious class, I reassured myself that at least I had a few hours to myself and could have a leisurely lunch befroe I got my credit situation worked out in a jiffy. Not so. My lunch was pretty nice, but I was about halfway through my chicken when I found out that my contract at work officially started yesterday, not next Monday as I'd been telling myself. So basically, I just didn't show up for work one day with no excuse. This is especially embarrassing, considering I saw my supervisor yesterday and passed her with a greeting and a smile as if I had my life together. How wrong I was. Now, instead of straigntening my room with the assurance that my credit situation has been remedied, I'm sitting at work, seething over the fact that I'll have to either go without a voice class, or pay and extra six hundred bucks to do what I consider to be important for my training as a performer. Le sigh. How quickly things changed.

Now that my work schedule is rather set, I have to get reaquainted with the idea that I won't be home again until late evening at the earliest, late night television time under many circustances. I have to have two meals on campus and have my printing done ahead of time. I won't have a chance to change clothes on a hot day or take a nap between classes or catch most of my professors in their office hourse. I essentially won't have down time before Friday. I knew it would be something like this. It's jsust disheartening to jump into it before I realized I had to. Now I'm very close to freaking out. I have 45 minutes before lab. That would be enough time to do my French if I wasn't blogging, but nothing else of importance. I am supposed to be at work immediately after scene design. There's a good chance I'll be late for an appointment or two. I have no idea if I'll even be able to swing voice lessons. It's only the second day and I've gone through several highs and lows. What will tomorrow bring, I wonder?

My Hope

So I'm coming up on what I hope to be the final fall semester of my undergraduate life and I am freaking out. I've actually been freaking out for the better part of a month now and I don't see that it's doing me any good. Because it's supposed to be my final year, it's my last chance to get things right before I lose my real world buffer and have to do things like account for various utility bills, depend on a job as a principle means of income, and file taxes. I'm concerned about money is what I'm trying to say. Graduating will also leave me bereft of any excuse not to aggressively pound the pavement trying to be an actor. This has to be the time when I get things done and get everything right. I had it in my mind that I would come into this year with a perfect slate: my schedule all mapped out, my room in perfect condition for productivity, my school supplies organized, and all of my little administrative ducks in line. By the last Monday before classes, I was supposed to be able to simulate the rigor of the school year...It's Thursday. I'll be getting new roommates some time tomorrow and my space still isn't in the condition it should be in for school. I've overslept every morning before today. I don't know what my work schedule will be for when I have class. None of this is any huge detriment to the success of the year as yet, but the results of my goal for August don't bode well for my goals for the year. I'm hoping that keeping track of my progress will keep me on track. I'm hoping accounting for myself over this period of time will make me more accountable. And, despite my less-than-stellar trak record with keeping a blog (http://muzzybarker.blogspot.com/), I think it's the easiest way to keep my eyes on the ball. Here's hoping.