It's Tuesday evening, my third Tuesday in a row of not having rehearsal or a show to get to, the second Tuesday in my second week of having no show affiliation. I don't have any obligation for tonight beyond seeing a thirty-minute show to support my fellow thespians, and I have a decent chunk of work to do when I get home. I have a project to finish, a monologue to learn, a room to clean, and plenty of content to study, and yet I anticipate standing in the middle of my room when I get home wondering what to do with myself. As glad as I was for the break, it just doesn't seem natural to not have my time between seven and ten at night designated for me by an obligation to some show or some deadline. That's the thing that drives me. It's so weird not to have rehearsal, not to even have a goal for what to accomplish by next rehearsal. Thinking of my life in terms of days and weeks has got me constantly pushing deadlines back, losing the urgency that I have. I've only got five more days without a show, and I wonder what I'll accomplish with them.
When I have a show, I come home tired or wired, to fatigued to do anything or too caught up in what I've come from to think about anything else. When I don't have a show, I feel this obligation to do something major with those three hours which ends up translating into obsessing over Dance Moms and looking determinedly at the next day, sure that it's going to be different. Usually, if I go to sleep before finishing my homework, or don't get around to writing something, I assuage my disappointment with whatever I accomplished in rehearsal. If nothing else, I've spent some time on what's really important, what I can't live without no matter what else is going on. I miss being a part of something. I can't wait until I have rehearsal. I hope I'm able to accomplish more when I get to it.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Shoulda, Coulda, Wouldas
I'm in the dark for a couple of weeks and, while basking in the glory of having complete control over what I do between seven and ten on weekday evenings, I do understand that there are plenty of other things that I could be doing with that time. So it was that, last night, I was all set to be a productive bunny after work. I lost out on my ride to dance class and there was no way I was braving the torrential rain to take two buses in the middle of the night for the later class, so I settled in to my table at the writing center to do other productive things. So long as I was there, it wasn't bad. The trouble started when I left for home.
I'd been back and forth over whether I should go to Foster-Tanner and practice or go straight home. Alack, the seduction of home time proved too alluring, and I ended up packing it in, knowing that there are plenty of productive things that I can do a casa. Here are the things that I could have done while I was at home:
clean
practice
exercise
braid my hair
write
do homework
study
read
work on my audition package
work on my plan of attack for auditions
pick up correspondence
plan for the rest of the week
make meals
work on applications
build my language skills
Here is what I actually did:
make chicken
watch the Kardashians
play on my phone
...yeah. No bueno. I partially justified my lack of productivity to myself with the fact that I didn't have to go to my first two classes in the morning, so I would have plenty of time to be productive, and I was well within my rights to rest a bit. Fast forward to this morning. It's after nine thirty, the time that my second class starts, and I'm just getting up. I need to shower, dress, and eat before I get out of the house, not to mention get some food to campus so that I don't go hungry the rest of the week. I emd up being ready in plenty of time to catch the bus, but no time to do anything else. My two free classes are moot.
What have we learned, children? Well, for one thing, I learned that none of my alarms were set properly, a thing I need to watch out for. For another, I can't be trusted to accomplish things that aren't specifically on my agenda. I'm going to have to operate on a much tighter leash from this point forward. For now, I'm in time out.
I'd been back and forth over whether I should go to Foster-Tanner and practice or go straight home. Alack, the seduction of home time proved too alluring, and I ended up packing it in, knowing that there are plenty of productive things that I can do a casa. Here are the things that I could have done while I was at home:
clean
practice
exercise
braid my hair
write
do homework
study
read
work on my audition package
work on my plan of attack for auditions
pick up correspondence
plan for the rest of the week
make meals
work on applications
build my language skills
Here is what I actually did:
make chicken
watch the Kardashians
play on my phone
...yeah. No bueno. I partially justified my lack of productivity to myself with the fact that I didn't have to go to my first two classes in the morning, so I would have plenty of time to be productive, and I was well within my rights to rest a bit. Fast forward to this morning. It's after nine thirty, the time that my second class starts, and I'm just getting up. I need to shower, dress, and eat before I get out of the house, not to mention get some food to campus so that I don't go hungry the rest of the week. I emd up being ready in plenty of time to catch the bus, but no time to do anything else. My two free classes are moot.
What have we learned, children? Well, for one thing, I learned that none of my alarms were set properly, a thing I need to watch out for. For another, I can't be trusted to accomplish things that aren't specifically on my agenda. I'm going to have to operate on a much tighter leash from this point forward. For now, I'm in time out.
Friday, September 7, 2012
On the Agenda
Labor Day is over, which means I'm officially in my fall semester. No more schedule changes, no more getting my feet wet, and, for the most part, no more wondering what the semester is going to look like for me. Having that in mind, these are the things I know I need to do in the month of September:
1) Put together an audition package for FTC/SETC
2) Apply for FTC
3) Map out the rest of my auditions for the school year
4) Finish a book
5) Solidify my circadean clock
6) Sell five season subscriptions
7) Ensure that I'm on track for Spring graduation
It occurs to me that I should probably do this for the whole year. I can hardly hold myself accountable for goals I haven't solidly set. So what would I like to accomplish in the course of my senior year? What do I hope to walk away with?
1) A job. The most frightening thing about being a senior is the possibility that I won't have the relative stability that college life has afforded me thus far. I understand, especially with my chosen profession, that things may not always be completely consistent, but I want to at least have a solid type of employement that I can count on for the year following my graduation. Of course, I would prefer for that job to be in theatre, but I'm flexible if I can see myself getting a job where I can make money and save.
2) A place to live. No way in hell am I renewing my lease at College Club, even if I end up staying in Tallahassee. Unless I'm living rent free under my mother's roof, I need a place of my own.
3) A solid book. This includes five monologues and ten songs that I can present at any audition. Senior project should help me with that, but that will only be as much as I need for the showcase. I also need to have good headshots (in color...) that I can ue in professional auditions.
4) A stronger skill set. I'm not taking voice. I'll hopefully be taking dance, but I'm not taking an acting class right now. Hopefully, I will have the chance to work on that in some capacity. I can already feel myself getting rusty.
5) A plan. At present, I have no idea where I'll be a year from now. It's no longer dictated by my school schedule. I need to be in a position to develop at least a two-year plan for after college to keep from floating.
1) Put together an audition package for FTC/SETC
2) Apply for FTC
3) Map out the rest of my auditions for the school year
4) Finish a book
5) Solidify my circadean clock
6) Sell five season subscriptions
7) Ensure that I'm on track for Spring graduation
It occurs to me that I should probably do this for the whole year. I can hardly hold myself accountable for goals I haven't solidly set. So what would I like to accomplish in the course of my senior year? What do I hope to walk away with?
1) A job. The most frightening thing about being a senior is the possibility that I won't have the relative stability that college life has afforded me thus far. I understand, especially with my chosen profession, that things may not always be completely consistent, but I want to at least have a solid type of employement that I can count on for the year following my graduation. Of course, I would prefer for that job to be in theatre, but I'm flexible if I can see myself getting a job where I can make money and save.
2) A place to live. No way in hell am I renewing my lease at College Club, even if I end up staying in Tallahassee. Unless I'm living rent free under my mother's roof, I need a place of my own.
3) A solid book. This includes five monologues and ten songs that I can present at any audition. Senior project should help me with that, but that will only be as much as I need for the showcase. I also need to have good headshots (in color...) that I can ue in professional auditions.
4) A stronger skill set. I'm not taking voice. I'll hopefully be taking dance, but I'm not taking an acting class right now. Hopefully, I will have the chance to work on that in some capacity. I can already feel myself getting rusty.
5) A plan. At present, I have no idea where I'll be a year from now. It's no longer dictated by my school schedule. I need to be in a position to develop at least a two-year plan for after college to keep from floating.
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