They won't let me graduate. I don't get to graduate. Even though I took two different AP exams in high school that should count as freshman English courses, they don't count for enough because I only got 3s. A 3 is passing, but nothing special, an easily foreseeable result of my being terrible with times writings and confusing the same cluster of literary terms over and over again. FAMU accepts 3s, mind you. I mean, you can't very well expect an institution that takes in people who have gotten 440 in a subject on their SATs to scoff at a person who's taken and passed an AP exam when said person could have taken home economics (or in my case, Pro Arte) instead for an easy A. But they only accept it so much. According to them, my 3s only count for one class, that being the very first ENC class. So even though, AP Lit. focuses on exploring literature the same way ENC 1102 focuses on literary analysis, while AP Lang focuses on composition the same way ENC 1101 throws out the basic elements of writing that everyone should have learned in literature, the two AP courses amount to the same college course, which is one less than I need to graduate.
The bitch of it is that the only reason they count for one course instead of two is that I got 3s in both of them. To clarify, taking one exam and getting a 4 on it is the equivalent of taking two college courses, but taking two exams and getting a not four but still passing grade on both of them is the equivalent of taking one college course. Because FAMU is nothing if not logical. So I'm short a credit to graduate. And, no matter how aggressively my mother dials my phone number, there's nothing anyone can do about it because apparently FAMU really really really really really thinks that everyone should take ENC 1102 as there is absolutely no other way to test out of the course. Every other testing program would only give me yet another ENC 1101 credit that I don't need, and cost me money that I don't have. The fact that no one mentioned to me any of the other times I trekked to Foote-Hilyer to find out why the hell my shit wasn't showing up on my transcript (even though I clearly told that trick that I should have five credits listed and she smiled and told me they would be up in no time) means that it's too late for me to register for an English course, which I considered doing in January but decided not to at the last minute because they have nothing to teach me. I've done perfectly fine with my lack of college English thus far, and between my AP classes and my working in the writing center, I've taken this class at least two times over.
So this is really happening. I'm really one of those people whose degree is being held hostage over one stupid freshman class. And not even a class that I would learn anything from, but a class that has the same information and offers the same skills I've been using since my sophomore year in high school. Betimes I could apply them better, but the fact remains, I would get nothing from taking this course. The only avenue I haven't tried is registering to take the AP exam again to see if I can pull out a 4 because it happens to be taking place at the same time that I will be on a cruise in honor of the graduation that won't happen. Mother should have purchased insurance when she had the chance.
So that's it. I absolutely can't get this English credit before May, so I absolutely won't have a degree on it's way to me over the summer and I absolutely will be walking across the stage to collect an empty envelope in front of my family, who have already recieved the graduation announcements. I can't even register to take the class over the summer right now because my outstanding graduation application (which is now bullshit) has placed a hold on my account. I am angry and I am tired. All this worrying about what I'll do once I've graduated, and now it's not even going to happen. We plan. God laughs. I cry.
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